I’m bummed. I just heard the news that Sarah Palin, the one Republican hopeful that has enough political muscle to shake things up at the GOP Convention, has decided not to run in 2012? Huh? I don’t get it. Yesterday New Jersey’s Republican governor Chris Christie dropped out of the race and today Sarah did the same. I just can’t believe it! After all her tough talk, tea party rhetoric and “you betcha’s” she turns out to be just another quitter. Who would have thunk it?
Oh I know she’s saying she did a lot of praying and has really thought long and hard about her decision, but what does that really mean in Palinspeak? A few hours? A day? Two maybe? I don’t think she has it in her to go much longer that without hurting herself.
Now that Sarah has officially quit I mean resigned from the race, she says she will be focusing her energy on helping to “coordinating strategies to assist in replacing the president, retaking the Senate and maintaining the House.” Big task for the little lady from Alaska, but I’m sure she’ll give it her best shot, you betcha!
I’ve got to tell you, I hate to see her drop out of the race now who are we going to pick on? Oh she’ll still be around for an occasional jab or two, but as a presidential hopeful she would be much bigger game. Not since Gerald Ford have we had a bigger political ass to kick around and ridicule. She will be missed.
I’m sure Jon Stewart of the Daily Show, Bill Maher, Letterman, Leno and a host of other comediennes were looking forward to her running. They love to target Palin and make fun of her. Her candidacy would have provided them with plenty of great material. Let’s face it, she isn’t exactly the sharpest tool in the shed. She totally blew me away back in June of this year when she gave her botched little history lesson about Paul Revere’s midnight ride. It was classic! ”He who warned, uh, the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh, by ringing those bells, and um, makin’ sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.”
Alrighty then Sarah, let’s just rewrite history. Obviously she’s no history buff and apparently she sucks at geography as well as she proved at a fundraiser a few years back. ‘They are also building schools for the Afghan children so that there is hope and opportunity in our neighboring country of Afghanistan.” Our neighboring country? Okay, since when? As far as I can tell Afghanistan is at lest 7000 miles away! It must be a mighty big neighborhood!
Once when she was still governor of Alaska she was asked about what foreign policy insights she might gain because of Russia’s proximity to Alaska her response: “They are next door neighbors and you can actually see Russia, from land, here in Alaska.” What a moron! She was being asked about foreign policy experience and said that you can see Russia from Alaska? I guess in Palinese that means if you’ve seen the White House you’re qualified to be president. NOT!
Another foreign policy blunder involved Korea. When she was asked by a reporter how she would handle hostilities between the two Koreas she responded, “Obviously, we’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies.” Now wouldn’t that be special considering that the South Korean’s are our allies!
You’ll probably find this hard to believe, I certainly did, but did you know that Palin was a communications major? That’s right! communications! With all the gibberish that spews from her mouth you’d never know it. “I want to help clean up the state that is so sorry today of journalism. And I have a communications degree.” What exactly does that mean anyway? Then after being called on the carpet by the press for her creation of the Palinspeak word ‘refudiate’, she had this to say in her defense. “‘Refudiate,’ ‘misunderestimate,’ ‘wee-wee’d up.’ English is a living language. Shakespeare liked to coin new words too. Got to celebrate it!” You betcha’ Sarah! You betcha!
And lastly, what about this little gem? When she was asked about writing notes on her hand during her tea party convention speech she responded in true Palin style, ”I didn’t really had a good answer, as so often — is me. But then somebody sent me the other day, Isaiah 49:16, and you need to go home and look it up. Before you look it up, I’ll tell you what it says though. It says, hey, if it was good enough for God, scribbling on the palm of his hand, it’s good enough for me, for us. He says, in that passage, ‘I wrote your name on the palm of my hand to remember you,’ and I’m like, ‘Okay, I’m in good company.” Huh? I think she’d be in much better company in a mental health ward. This is the woman who could have been our vice president. This is the woman who until yesterday wanted to be our president. What if she had decided to run and by some incredible twist of fate she made her way to the white house? Can you imagine? Things are bad enough already without having the “you betcha biach” leading our nation! I think she made the right decision for herself and for the country. The only regret is that “we won’t have Sarah Palin to kick around as much anymore.”