I certainly hope everyone had a nice Christmas. Ours was great! We slept which was nice, then around 10 we headed over to my daughter and son-in-laws for breakfast. It was very enjoyable Christmas morning. From there we went by some friends to drop off gifts and had a very pleasant visit as well as a splash of Christmas cheer (Chivas Regal) to celebrate the day, yummy. We then headed home to get things ready for Christmas dinner with the kids. Yeah it was shaping into quite a beautiful Christmas day.
While driving home we even had Christmas music playing on the radio which is highly unlike me. I like the Christmas season and all, but sometimes I get into a mild funk around this time of year beginning around mid November and I find myself just sort of going through the motions. You see, my mom passed away just before Thanksgiving twenty-one years ago and though it been so long ago, she is usually on my mind though out the holiday season.
Yeah even after all these years I still recall how tough that first Christmas we spent without her really was. Christmas was her time, mom loved the holidays and although we spent both Thanksgiving and Christmas with family and friends that first year, it was still so surreal and dream-like that I remember numbly stumbled through it. It was sort of like standing outside of a picture and looking in, like I was an outsider, an observer, watching everything occur around me. very strange.
Year after year memories of mom fill me with sadness and regret, some years are better than others. This year has been one of the good ones. I felt really good and the bluesy feeling that haunts me some years was nowhere to be found. I even told my wife how good I felt this year. Yes it was shaping into quite a wonderful day. I could hardly wait to get home and await the arrival of the family. Yeah it was going to be a madhouse with the grand kids tearing open gifts, running around and making a racket, but then isn’t that what it’s really all about? Isn’t Christmas about kids, joy and wide-eyed wonder? I think so. Yes it was going to be an awesome afternoon and evening.
And believe me, it was…
If you were able to spend the Christmas holiday with family consider yourself among the fortunates, because there are fractured families out there who can’t share a Christmas Eve or Christmas morning together watching the little one unwrapping gifts or playing with their new toys. For them a big Christmas dinner is unimaginable. Why? Family dynamics.
Family dynamics is the way family members relate to one another. Sometimes families simply cant get along. Some long standing feud or grudge keeps them apart. Angry word, hurt feelings, emotional upheaval, it can be just about anything that causes the rift. What results is disappointment as some family members fail to show up for Christmas or other occasions. Fractured families go through the motions but are inwardly disappointed that brother Bill’s family or maybe Aunt Beverly’s isn’t in attendance. It hurts. It’s like the air has been let out of a beautiful balloon and the happiness, joy and laughter that had once been, has been deflated.
I love my family deeply as I’m sure nearly everyone does, and glad that we are able to spend the holidays together. I wouldn’t want it any other way. A families time together is precious and is treasured forever in our hearts. Life is too damn short to waste away quarreling, arguing or begrudging another family member about this that or the other. It is better spent in meaningful, heartfelt moments filled with joy, laughter and love. It can be beautiful! It’s time to get over whatever it is that’s causing the problem, pick up the pieces and become a whole family again. Time’s a’wasting.