“You Can Look but You Better Not Touch”

“It’s better to be looked over than over-looked” Mae West

“You can look but you better not touch” The Coasters

19_for_her_onlyYesterday I came across an article online about why it’s natural for men to notice other women. Of course I was immediately drawn to it because like all heterosexual men I have been known to notice beautiful women every now and again. Yes, I said it, all heterosexual men notice other women, unless they’re blind of course, and I mean physically blind, not blinded by love. If a man says otherwise he’s lying.

Now there’s a huge difference between appreciating beauty and being a freakin’ gawker. First and foremost let me say “I am not a gawker,” never have been, never will be. I do not and have never stared, glared or ogled a woman stupidly and don’t intend to ever do so. There are already enough gawking idiots out there. Of course there may have been a time or two when inordinate amounts of alcohol may have played a part in some unintentional, inebriated eyeballing, but I, uh, don’t remember. I will however readily admit to being an aficionado of beauty, a connoisseur of exquisiteness and comeliness, always have been, always will be. And if that proclivity happens to include beautiful women, well then, so be it.

I have long proclaimed a believe that God, in all His glory,  gave me the gift of sight so that I could appreciate the beauty of His creation and there are many. The incredibly beautiful seascapes, landscapes and other natural wonders that surround us, the magnificent sunsets and red skies at morning, the brilliant full moon in a star studded sky, oh the list goes on and on. And somewhere on that list, of course, are women. Where exactly is a matter of individual taste, but suffice it to say, for most men, beautiful women are somewhere near the top. With that said let me tell you about the article.

According to the author men have no control over this ‘noticing’ action. (or is a reaction?) It seems that a study conducted by Duke University concluded that we’re biologically inclined to stare at beautiful women. The act of appreciating a woman’s beauty by noticing her is ‘hard-wired’ into us. Who knew? Apparently men are attracted to sexy and/or powerful people. Single or married, it makes no difference, men are gonna look.  It’s a part of our human nature to look at what we find attractive. Of course the study was conducted male rhesus monkeys, but then men have long been compared with primates.

The act of noticing is also a part of the whole primitive man as the hunter thing. Since man first walked the earth he has been the hunter, the provider. Therefore his vision was an important key in being a good provider. He was constantly looking, watching and noticing.  That’s why a man’s brain is stimulated by images much more than the brain of a woman. If there is anything visually interesting within his sight, a man will look – this behavior is wired into us subconsciously.

Now I’m not looking for excuses here. I’m just trying to explain that checking out another woman is not intended as and should not be considered a threat to wives or girlfriends. A casual glance or look in no way means your husband or boyfriend does not find you attractive or is no longer interested in you. He is merely responding to a basic, inherent instinct. A committed relationship ship doesn’t mean you put on a pair of blinders and stop seeing what’s around you. Nowhere is it written that you have to be blind to other people. It’s natural to stare or look for a little while. Just don’t forget what a little while means. And guys remember it works both ways, a women may also feel compelled to look at or check out an attractive guy so be cool.

What it all comes down to guys is the length of the look. If you notice an attractive, sexy looking lady and take a long, hard look at her, wait scratch the hard part, be prepared for the wrath of your wife or girlfriend. A lingering look is gawking plain and simple, insulting to your partner and much more deadly than taking a curious look or casually checking her out. And for godsakes if you get caught looking don’t deny it. Chances are your partner also noticed this beauty walking by and more or less expects you to look. But if you get caught in a jaw-dropping, mouth drooling, I forgot who I’m with, kind of stare, well then, good luck buddy! Chances are you’re relationship is in real trouble and denial is only going to make the situation worse.

There you go ladies men who notice other women are only doing what comes natural to us, reacting to a stimulus, because of left over genes from our hunter ancestors, so go easy on us. Don’t feel threatened by an occasional casual look or glance. Your boyfriend or husband is there with you. They fell in love with you and are committed to you and you alone. You know that, so girls go easy on us. No harm no foul right?  Remember we aren’t blind, we found you didn’t we? That would have never happened if we hadn’t looked.  And guys one last word of advice, if you feel compelled to check out a beautiful woman or perhaps several beautiful woman, be discreet!

Just Saying…

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One Response to “You Can Look but You Better Not Touch”

  1. Lovie says:

    Ashley – I love your work! You and your team are truly talented. Not only do you capture a moment in time but more imoltrantpy ones inner beauty

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